Jul 152016
 

 

Gosh it’s hot.  At least, it’s hot around here in good ol’ western PA.  I hope things are a tad cooler elsewhere.  But, even in the midst of this heat and humidity, vanity marches on!  For example:

SORDFTR

I LARP for those who cannot!

DOABLE

OK, you can, but…should you? That’s the question.

 

ROLLR 1

Joh-na-than. Joh-na-than! JOH-NA-THAN! (You HAVE seen the orignal ‘Rollerball‘, haven’t you?)

 

I’d stay and offer more, but I’m just too drained from this heat.  Yeesh.  Still, it beats winter, right Sly?

Jul 052016
 

 

Happy belated 4th and summer in general, folks!  I’ve been busy with other things, but vanity, like rust, never sleeps.  So, let’s take a look at how things are shaping up out there:

B-AWESOME

Here’s a thought: What if all of us *are* awesome? It would explain why we look so average to each other, wouldn’t it?

 

MOMMA BE

Momma be wasting $$$ on vanity plates instead of spending it on something nice for her family. For shame!

 

IB DRIVN2

Well technically you were parked, but let’s not quibble. But this plate begs an important question: Yes, you drive, but do you drive well?

 

Wow, it must have been the incessant buzzing of insects that comes with summer what put me in this frame of mind.  Now I can’t get this infernal buzzing out of my head.  Well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, I say:

Mar 302016
 

There’s Vanity, and then there’s outright Narcissism.  These plates aggrandize the driver in such a way that they cross that line.  Behold:

LGNDRY

A legend in his own mind, an object of derision in everyone else’s.

 

2FAB4U

Unless you’re Sir Paul or Ringo, you most certainly are not. FAIL.

 

OUT-THRR

Yeah, sure. You’re a real wild and crazy guy, no doubt.

 

Self-glossing is not the way to go.  Show, don’t tell.  Maybe you all need to take a long, hard look at yourselves, like this guy did:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feb 242016
 

 

We’re a pious lot here in Pennsyltucky, even when we’re committing one of the Seven Deadly Sins.  So, look upon these with Agape, yes?

 

RKN4GOD

Make a joyful noise and all of that, eh? Well, I feel ya on that one, pal! Why, I even saw Stryper back in the day, so I get where you’re coming from.

 

 

 

COG-POSTR

It took me a while to figure this one out, but months after I first snapped this pic I realized it meant “Church of God Pastor.” I guess the spirit was not upon me when I took this picture. Does this mean Predestination is a thing, then?

 

VATICAN

Okay, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t an official vehicle of the Papacy but an ironic statement about the little white Nissan that bears it. That, or the Pope was *really* diligent about his advance team covering the region for last fall’s Philly visit. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen it since then. Hmm…

 

I know some of you heathens are laughing.  That’s ok, though, I could use the company once I get to where I’m headed.

Nov 042015
 

Hello!  It’s been almost two months since I did one of these here vanity plate posts.  First, it was the Pope.  Luckily, that went off without a hitch.  But no sooner than that had passed than I found myself wrapped up in all things Halloween-y.  And that…flew by.  Good lord, where does the time go?  Well, even as it passes us by, vanity, it would seem, is here to stay.  To wit:

 

YESIAH

Here’s a name that means “God will lend.”  Good plan, I hear he doesn’t charge interest (well, the New Testament and Quranic versions at least).

 

ILASH

Sooooo, you’re doing free advertising for an eye liner? Wha?I hope you’re getting some kind of kickback for that, at least.

 

IMTHTGY

No, you’re not. Somewhere, Tywin Lannister is cocking an eyebrow and sneering ever-so-slightly.

 

Yup, time flies.  And eventually, it becomes something less than benign:

Aug 192015
 

The other day I was driving to lunch with my coworker and he surmised that the reason that the Harrisburg Area has so many vanity plates is its proximity to the DMV building.  I can’t believe that I never thought of that.  Kudos to my coworker, and shame on me for missing the obvious answer.  Shame, shame, shame.  Alas, many of my fellow people here in the greater Harrisburg area feel no shame, only vanity.  Here’s the evidence:

Ha ha, so clever! Except you know, when you're parked and someone walks by and takes a picture. Then it's the other way around. Not so clever now, are you? Not so clever now?!

Ha ha, so clever! Except you know, when you’re parked and someone walks by and takes a picture. Then it’s the other way around. Not so clever now, are you? Not so clever now?!

As in stimulant? I'm not so sure this plate isn't just another invitation to get pulled over by the cops. Call it a hunch.

As in stimulant? I’m not so sure this plate isn’t just another invitation to get pulled over by the cops. Call it a hunch.

So when you google the term "kneebar" you get some striking images like this one. This means either this person's talking a heap of trash or is the real deal. You're welcome to find out but I believe that discretion is the better part of valor in this case.

So when you google the term “kneebar” you get some striking images like this one. This means either this person’s talking a heap of trash or is the real deal. You’re welcome to find out but I believe that discretion is the better part of valor in this case.

Speaking of blindness:

Aug 132015
 

Gosh, I’m impressed by my middlebrow reference in the title.  I know that’s vain, but vanity’s what it’s all about these days.  To wit:

Jacari Noir?  Jacari Jacket?  Banana Jacari?  So much mystery in this one.  So much much mystery.

Jacari Noir? Jacari Jacket? Banana Jacari? So much mystery in this one. So much mystery.

I'd think twice before associating Jay-Z's name with your act.  If he gets wind of what of what you're doing, there's a good chance he's gonna corporate gangsta on you.  You can laugh at that term now, but you won't be when you're staring at a couple of seven-figure lawyers from across the table.  Plus, you'll never be allowed to meet Beyonce'.  You done been warned.

I’d think twice before associating Jay-Z’s name with your act. If he gets wind of what of what you’re doing, there’s a good chance he’s gonna corporate gangsta on you. You can laugh at that term now, but you won’t be when you’re staring at a couple of seven-figure lawyers from across the table. Plus, you’ll never be allowed to meet Beyonce’. You done been warned.

Clearly this is someone proclaiming their love for Ashbee's Wine Bar in London.  I commend you on picking what is, by all accounts that I've read (I've never been), a fine, fine establishment.  Kudos!

Clearly this is someone proclaiming their love for Ashbee’s Wine Bar in London. I commend you on picking what is, by all accounts that I’ve read (I’ve never been), a fine, fine establishment. Kudos!

 

Now, if only I could get this song out of my head.  Heh, I kid.  It’s a good one to have stuck:

 

Jun 252015
 

 

Hello good people!  I’ve been away for these past few days, but not by choice.  Nope.  Instead, I was forced away by a nasty web-hosting site crash.  It wasn’t pretty, but it did teach me a vitally important lesson – BACK UP YOUR SITE.  Yup.  Lesson learned.  (Cure the “The More You Know” logo.)  Rather than celebrate by trying harder to learn more about site backup best practices, I thought I’d just take the vapid route instead.  And what’s more vapid than another feature on the Harrisburg area’s ongoing vanity plate issue?:

26-2GRMA

No mockery here. This is just awesome. I hope I’m like you as I get older. I hope you and I wind up like this lady, ‘cuz Age ain’t nothin’ but a number.

 

*sigh* OK, dummy, I'm gonna explain this to you very, very simply:  Ohio State does not care about nor consider Penn State to be a rival.  They don't care.  You are just another team that they play.  You aren't Michigan, and you certainly aren't any sort of potential SEC or PAC-10 college playoff rival.  In short, you are an afterthought at best.  You don't even qualify as comic relief.  Verstehen Sie?

*sigh* OK, dummy, I’m gonna explain this to you very, very simply: Ohio State does not care about nor consider Penn State to be a rival. They don’t care. You are just another team that they play. You aren’t Michigan, and you certainly aren’t any sort of potential SEC or PAC-10 college playoff rival. In short, you are an afterthought at best. You don’t even qualify as comic relief. Verstehen Sie?

 

ORIENT

…Express? Are you telling us to position ourselves relative to something and/or towards a certain direction? Are you trying to say that you claim an interest in all things East Asian? Or are you claiming some sort of heritage from that part of the world? So many questions come from this plate. Well done.

 

So, I’ve learned my lesson.  It took the short, sharp shock of getting my site jammed up in a crash to do it, but I’ve become a little wiser for it.  Plus, it reminds me that one should always pay great heed to the New Pornogrpahers.  After all, they did warn us about this sort of thing a few years ago:

Jun 172015
 

Summer’s here and the time is right for vanity in the streets, or something like that.  I won’t belabor the point.  It’s too nice out, so I’m gonna keep this short n’ sweet:

Yeah, thanks Moe!  Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck!  Or are you talking about some God-awful noodly band followed around by stonery college kids?  In which case, I say no thanks.

Yeah, thanks Moe! Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck! Or are you talking about some God-awful noodly band followed around by stonery college kids? In which case, I say no thanks.

I get it.  We all get it.  It's just...*sigh*...it's a free country, I guess.  It's just..., it's just..., it's just that it seems that some of you aren't trying very hard is all.  *sigh*

I get it. We all get it. It’s just…*sigh*…it’s a free country, I guess. It’s just…, it’s just…, it’s just that it seems that some of you aren’t trying very hard is all. *sigh*

Soooo, you get a little loopy and spin around in a couple of circles after you've a few tokes of the ol' ganj?  Got it.

Soooo, you get a little loopy and spin around in a couple of circles after you’ve a few tokes of the ol’ ganj? Got it.

 

Long, hazy days and warm, easy nights – this is what it’s all about.  Pennsylvania natives Will Smith & DJ Jazzy Jeff know what’s up:

 

 

 

 

Feb 022015
 

Sometimes, you give someone more respect than they deserve, and then you feel let down when they show their true colors.  And while the following song doesn’t fit my current situation perfectly, it’s awfully close.  The key difference is that I did have some illusions about someone.  But, one lives and learns, I suppose.  Take it away Ani:

Jan 302015
 

Get back and here the Fab Four discuss where they should play their last hurrah:

 

 

 

Oct 282014
 

Everyone’s favorite Pittsburgh band, The Clarks, performing Penny On The Floor at the Abbey Bar earlier this month:

Jul 212014
 

I recorded a few minutes here and there from Matthew Sweet’s show last night at the Abbey Bar here in Harrisburg.  I did my best but one can only do so much with a camera phone, and the skill of its operator (*ahem*) didn’t help much either.  Still, I enjoyed the show and wanted to share it.  Mr. Sweet still has his voice and his backing band was pretty solid, so they sounded good.  More importantly, I got the feeling he was someone who seems to enjoy himself when he plays, and that kind of enthusiasm on the part of an artist makes a big difference.  Oh, and he didn’t seem to be half in the bag, which is more than I can say for some live acts I’ve seen lately.

Divine Intervention sticks out in my mind as one of those songs that bubbled up during the fall of ’91, right when everything changed musically.  Plus, I just turned 21.  Ah, youth!

Sick of Myself is another well know number, and deservedly so.  Again, he seemed to be enjoying himself, which never a bad thing for someone on stage.

And of course, “Girlfriend” which is the one song we all came for, of course.

Jun 252014
 

So, here are a few video clips of Lucinda Williams playing at the Three Rivers Arts Fest that I took using my phone.  Again, like my picture, they’re very basic, but I hope they can give yinz an adequate idea of what the show was like.

I admit that I don’t know a lot her songs, but this one I do know.  I thought she did a pretty nice job with it.  If only her whole set had been as solid.

Sadly, “Drunken Angel” seemed to be more typical of her performance.  She seemed to be straining to get to some of the higher notes.  At 61, I’m afraid that’s she lost some of her vocal range.  It’s sad but it happens.  That, and she also sounded warbly, as in, a smidge tipsy.  But that’s just a hunch.

 These girls are:

  1. Dancing ironically to Lucinda Williams
  2. Really, really into her.
  3. Drunk.
  4. 1&3
  5. 2&3

I’m not 100% sure, but I’d wager that the answer involves alcohol.  Call it a hunch.