Theobald was deceptively scary:
The 70s, they were a different time:
King’s County had its own special appeal to him that won out in the end:
The Lumps always did have their own way about them:
Cassius was a fun relative but a terrible neighbor:
His expression of his religiosity was unique to say the least.
Ol’ Percy was ahead of his time in his own way:
Brunhilde Durchfallen liked her beer:
Electricity done got the better of old Ezekiel Hardmeat:
Granny Feldspar had moxie – and one hell of a temper.
Tobias was all about high-fiber diets before they were even a thing.
Philomena always had to contend with cowlicks:
If only they had styling salons back then.
“Handsome” Dan wasn’t the most honest person:
I never lent Dan a red cent. Go figure.
Great Aunt Ida did as she pleased.
There’s something to be said for going out on your own terms.
Poor Griselda. You’d be bitter, too.
Griselda never sent him a birthday card after that. Go figure.
Jebediah and Ulysses Hardmeat, the explorers who couldn’t steer straight:
I guess a good atlas would’ve done these fellas wonders.
We don’t talk about Uncle Dalton much:
When the Feldspars said they came from an old family, they weren’t kidding:
Just don’t ever bring up the Visigoths in front of them, they’re still a little sore about those guys.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!
William “Brute” Brody was the town bully. But one glorious day, he got his:
Good manners aren’t just ethical, they’re very healthy too.
The holidays are a time for family, even the ones that are a bit off. Gwendolyn Durchfallen is one such example:
Second Cousin Once Removed (and Twice Disowned) Philbert “Smilin’ Phil” Hardmeat wasn’t the most fun relative to be around, but he’s worth mentioning all the same.
So, what I’m trying to say is don’t forget to get a colonoscopy as you get older. Don’t be a “Smilin’ Phil”, ok?
As we close in on the end of the year, it’s natural to think of those who have passed. It with that in mind that I present to you Great Uncle Milton’s children, the unfortunate Herman and Imogene Feldspar:
In hindsight, buying a house next to a bog wasn’t the best idea considering how curious Herman and Imogene were. One April morning, they quietly slipped out the backdoor and that was the last anyone ever saw of them.
Happy post-Thanksgiving. In the spirit of all things filial, let’s take a look at dear old Auntie Lucretia:
Hello everyone! Welcome again to my look back at some of my family (and the occasional peer). This time ’round, it’s a neighbor from down the street, Dorian Borz:
Hello everyone! Welcome again to my look back at some my family (and the occasional peer). This time ’round, it’s good ‘ol Cousin Clem!:
Yesiree, folks, when I look back upon my forbearers and their contemporaries, I am duly impressed. These were hardy sorts, and they deserve to be remembered. Come, let us look back fondly and give them their due:
Sunday was a rough day for me, but it was nothing compared to the one this poor sap had. Shadyside’s usually such a nice place, too.
Some jokes just write themselves.