Nov 092016
 

I’m  not just tired, I’m weary.  I can feel it around and behind my eyes.  That’s how I know.  I’m quietly despairing and must not let it overwhelm me.  I have to remind myself that I’m exhausted and that is a major contributing factor to my sorrow.  It’s still tough, though.  Tough as hell.boy-sitting-alone

Nov 032016
 

In today’s Daily Prompt we are to write something involving the word “sincere.”  Ok.

What would happen if I just disappeared?  Who would be upset by this?  My sister and some other family members would be devastated, but beyond that, I think that my going missing would only cause a momentary ripple. I’d be forgotten with weeks, if not days.  And really, it would be my fault in a way.  I’ve done nothing of value with myself, I’m not worthy of being remembered.

Part of this, a lot of this, is that I just want to run away, to flee.  I feel trapped in a cycle of boredom and depression.  I exist, but I don’t really live.  Maybe it’s too late.  Maybe.  I don’t know.  All that I do know is that I’m not really satisfied with where I am but don’t have the energy or focus to break out of my rut.  Perhaps I deserve to just sit here and suffer, perhaps not.  In the long run, that really doesn’t matter.  What does matter is the here and now, a time and place that I want to flee.  I just wish I knew where, or how.  I doubt I will do anything other than wallow, but the day might come when I act on my desire to disappear, one way or the other.  I’m sincere about this, too.

Sep 202016
 

 Posted by at 1:29 pm