Jan 232015
 

As I wrote last week, this is just an armpit of a month.  Still, it’s almost over, and the days are getting a little longer, so that’s something.  That, and the consistency of silliness and self-infatuation continues to provide us with warmth through these long, dark winter months.  Let’s see what vanity has for us this time around:

 

GDS GIRL

Yup, she’s GOD’s girl, so there’s no point in asking her out. You can’t measure up. It’s just a metaphysical certainty. But, what if another lady has the same plate? What then? Isn’t that how holy wars start?

 

 

LAB CRAZ

Well, it’s highly unlikely this person is so passionate about being a lab technician that he or she would brag about it. Possible, yes, but highly improbable. No, what I think we’re looking at here is someone who loves Labrador Retrievers. As dog-loving goes, this is about as easy as it gets. They’re just big ol’ lovebugs. Way to reach for the low-hanging fruit! If you wanna impress us, start loving some weird hybrid like a Dachsdoodle or some such.

 

 

PHIL-70

I am uncertain that anything of note happened in Philadelphia in 1970. I mean, sure, there was probably an almost toxic level of hostility in the air, but that’s every year in Philly.  Instead, I think this is either a fellah celebrating seven decades on this ball of confusion we call Earth or a way he reminds himself that he was born in 1970. Either way, it’s kinda a pedestrian, if you’ll pardon the term. But, hey, it’s been that kinda month.

 

 

It’ll be February soon, so, there’s that.  And that means, um, President’s Day sales?  Well, that, and the inevitable disappointment that is Valentine’s Day.

 

 

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