This time around I only wound up dating someone for seven weeks. BUT, as with so many things, expectations make the difference in how one sees things. I had thought we were on the “Girlfriend/Boyfriend” track. Hoo-hoo, was I wrong about that! Still, there didn’t appear to be any radical shift in this trajectory until two weeks ago.
Two Fridays ago I thought things were headed in a good direction. It all started when she agreed to come over and help me figure out how to rearrange my living room. We went out, scouted some furniture, and then came back to my house. She then proceeded to help me clean as I am rather messy and she is a neat freak. Cool, I thought, I’m a ‘project.’ I figured she was grooming me to become full-fledged boyfriend material. My sorry middle-aged ass actually dared to hope. This is difficult for me to do under the best of circumstances. She mentioned that she had made plans for the next night (Saturday). Ok, fair enough, I thought. And then…nothing. Nothing on Saturday, nothing on Sunday, and barely a response to any of the texts that I sent on Monday and Tuesday. So finally, I texted her Tuesday evening and asked her if she’d like to do something Wednesday. No thanks, she replied, she already had plans with the Harrisburg Young Professionals that night. Now I was mad. I texted her back and that was fine and to call me when she wanted to do something. And then…silence until I texted her Friday evening. And that was when she cut me loose.
tl;dr: I thought we were going to start getting serious. She tried to ghost me instead.
Ghosting, for the uninitiated, is basically blowing someone off the person you are dating completely until they get the picture. No response, no nothing. This can happen suddenly, or with a few polite but distant responses that hint that you should just fuck off. Either way, it is NOT COOL. It’s especially not cool when the person doing it is 39. You’re an adult, start acting like it. Being dumped sucks, but I can deal with that. The ghosting, though? Oh hell no! And that is what set me off so much and caused me to do all of this soul-searching.
I’m still not over this disrespectful treatment. Grrrrr…