Jul 222014

Howdy peeps!  I’m down the road in lovely Gaithersburg, Maryland for a work-related class for a few days and am just enjoying my time away from the office.  But don’t you worry none, I’m still on top of things!  I’m gonna take good care of you.  Just be cool my cats and kittens, kick back, and enjoy this prolonged tumble down the vanity plate rabbit hole that is south central Pennsyltucky.


NOWFATH? WTF? I am nonplussed by this one, yesiree. But, what the heck, it’s these sorts of challenges that keep us going. Yeehaw!


Bow Wow Wow

I think this plate is not saying “do be love” bus is advertising the car owner’s “Doberman Love”, that is, his/her love for her pet dog. I think I figured one out. Yay me!


Yinz Luv Da Stillers!

I couldn’t mock this plate if I wanted to. This person is a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers, the greatest sports franchise in the history of sports. Go Stillers!



Jul 152014
Jun 182014

Seven weeks in and it’s rolling along.  I’m starting to wonder.  Maybe there’s no grand conspiracy after all.  Maybe this area just has an abnormally high and wholly unjustified high regard for itself.  That might be what leads to all of these plates surfacing around here.  Or maybe that’s what “They” want me to think.  Hmmmm…

At any rate, here’s some more automotive tributes to one’s own self.

The parodic lyrics are covered by the Fair Use Doctrine.  I think, I hope.

Jeepers!, Creepers!, where’d you get that silly plate? Oh, yeah, that’s right, you paid for it. Derp.

I got nothin'.

Short for Miss Beverly, perhaps. Srsly, some of these plates are head scratchers.

Is there a Joe Piscopo-referencing plate out there somewhere?

I’m Mumbi, damnit!  Ah, yes, there’s nothing like a 30+ year-old SNL/Eddie Murphy reference. That, or this is someone from Mumbai, perhaps.

And the band played on.


Jun 102014

It’s getting heavy.  People are on to me and my mission.  A few people look at me funny when I record this phenomenon.  One lady even asked that I delete a picture that I took.  I did.  There’s no reason to be rude.  All kidding aside, I sometimes forget that we live in troubled times.  I think I’m just having fun, but considering what’s happened since 9/11 and our turn towards pervasive surveillance and social media saturation, I can see why some people are on edge.  I must be more discreet.  I have no desire to get my lights punched out.

Still, the surfeit of vanity in this area is a reality, and I must expose it to the world.  *Hums the Battle Hymn of the Republic*

Or it could be alluding to the card game.

Is this short for Ginny? Or are you proclaiming your love for a certain type of liquor? Just don’t act surprised when cops assume the latter and look for a reason to pull you and your fancymobile over.

No, seriously, what the hell was that gum made of?

I too have enjoyed the exploits of that wacky Bazooka Joe! It was worth the risk of cracking a molar on that rock-hard gum just to get at those little comic strips. Whatever happened to that guy, BTW?

I have no idea, really.

You Marte? Me Shawn! Am pleased to meet you!


Jun 042014

I would have gone with Day 3 of Writing 101’s assignment, but this is more important, so, welcome back to what appears to be a feature with no end in sight.  I’m not even trying anymore, they just *appear*. These things seem to be cropping up like mushrooms.  Still, I do feel a responsibility to show everyone the truth about this area’s weird vanity plate fetish.  So, here we go, again:

Double Deuce O' Dumb

When I was in the Army, we had to drop and give 20 (push-ups), not 22. Or is this a reference to the novel Catch-22? Either way, I ‘ll take a pass.

You best be backin' a future Cy Young winner with a plate like that.

Ok, I’m guessing this is a plug for Harrisburg, PA’s own Senators, a minor league baseball team and subsidiary of the Washington Nationals. Still, a minor league team?  And baseball at that?  Eech.

Die Wort is "Kraft", ja?

Achtung! Well, at least you were smart enough to put a “Kaiser” vanity plate on a German auto, I’ll give you that. Still, Mercedes woulda been a better choice. But let’s not nitpick, hmm?

The reality of my situation has started to sink in and now I’m just counting the days until the Powers That Be silence my reportage .  In the meantime, I feel duty-bound to bear witness to this automotive farce.  Riis, Sinclair, Steffins, and Tarbell would have been proud.