In today’s Daily Prompt we are to write something involving the word “sincere.” Ok.
What would happen if I just disappeared? Who would be upset by this? My sister and some other family members would be devastated, but beyond that, I think that my going missing would only cause a momentary ripple. I’d be forgotten with weeks, if not days. And really, it would be my fault in a way. I’ve done nothing of value with myself, I’m not worthy of being remembered.
Part of this, a lot of this, is that I just want to run away, to flee. I feel trapped in a cycle of boredom and depression. I exist, but I don’t really live. Maybe it’s too late. Maybe. I don’t know. All that I do know is that I’m not really satisfied with where I am but don’t have the energy or focus to break out of my rut. Perhaps I deserve to just sit here and suffer, perhaps not. In the long run, that really doesn’t matter. What does matter is the here and now, a time and place that I want to flee. I just wish I knew where, or how. I doubt I will do anything other than wallow, but the day might come when I act on my desire to disappear, one way or the other. I’m sincere about this, too.